Happy Hump Day! Today In Nascar History Oct. 28, 1951: Danny Weinberg wins his only Cup Series race in his fifth start, taking the checkered flag in the in a 200-lap race on the half-mile dirt track at Marchbanks Speedway in Hanford, Calif. All 17 of Weinberg's Cup starts, from 1951 to 1964, are in the West -- 15 in California and two at Phoenix. He finishes his Cup career with seven top-fives and nine top-10s. Quote of the Year There's an unwritten rule in NASCAR: Thou shalt not take on Dale Earnhardt Jr. --Terry Blount/espn Quote of the Day Talladega has always been a little crazy. But here's the thing: people like it a little crazy. -- David Caraviello Vote for your driver! www.chexmostpopular Bits and Pieces Liberty Medical on the #43: This November, Liberty Medical is sponsoring #43-Reed Sorenson in observance of American Diabetes Month, to help raise awareness of this dangerous disease that has reached epidemic proportions. Liberty Medical is also a proud sponsor of The American Diabetes Association, which observes American Diabetes Month every November. Liberty Medical Supply, Inc., a Medco Health Solutions Inc., company, is the nation's largest provider of blood glucose testing supplies and related services to people with diabetes, serving over one million diabetes patients. Liberty also offers a full service pharmacy to meet patients' medication needs and provides education to help its patients better manage their health conditions. (RPM PR) Final BB&T race for Bowyer: Talladega will mark the final race of the 2009 season where #33-Clint Bowyer's Chevy will sport the burgundy, white and gold paint scheme of Winston-Salem, N.C.,- based BB&T. The sponsor will once again support Bowyer's efforts for the 2010 season. (RCR PR) Forsyth Tech names motorsports school after Childress: The motorsports technology program at Forsyth Technical Community College has been renamed Richard Childress Race Car Technology at Forsyth Tech. Richard Childress Racing has a long-standing relationship with Forsyth Tech and employs a number of its graduates. Forsyth Tech has been named a Center of Excellence for Motorsports by the North Carolina Motorsports Consortium. Childress was on-hand for the announcement held on the campus in Winston-Salem, N.C.(RCR PR) Johnson's Crew Claims Tissot Pit Road Award in Martinsville: Jimmie Johnson's crew took top honors at Martinsville Speedway, winning the Tissot Pit Road Precision Award in Sunday's Sprint Cup race. It was the fourth Tissot win of the season for the #48 crew, which has played a key role in Johnson's dominating performance in the first six Chase races, including his runner-up finish at Martinsville. Johnson's #48 Lowe's Chevy spent the least amount of time on pit road (329.445 seconds) during the TUMS Fast Relief 500. Johnson's over-the-wall crew consists of: Mike Lingerfelt (front-tire changer), Art Simmons (front-tire carrier), Jon Lucas (rear-tire changer), Andy Brown (rear-tire carrier), Kenneth Purcell (jackman), Rich Gutierrez (gasman), Mike Knauer (catch can) and Ron Malec (eighth man). The team's crew chief is Chad Knaus. Johnson's crew along with the crews of Greg Biffle and Jeff Gordon are in a close competition for the Tissot season title with four races remaining. Biffle's crew leads with six wins, Gordon's crew is second with five wins and Johnson's crew is in third with four wins.(Tissot) Richardson to drive #36 at Talladega: Robert Richardson Jr. will attempt to qualify for his first NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race this weekend at Talladega Superspeedway behind the wheel of Tommy Baldwin Racing's #36 Toyota. Richardson Jr. has four career starts at the famed Alabama track. He has posted a top-20 finish in all four outings at the 2.66-mile superspeedway. The 26-year-old driver has completed 98 percent of the laps he has attempted and has led one lap around the monstrous track. Mahindra Tractors will appear as the primary sponsor of the #36 Toyota as they attempt to run all 188 laps this weekend at Talladega Superspeedway. (TBR/Everest- BAM Racing forms alliance with Warner Music Nashville: BAM Racing and Warner Music Nashville announced a strategic marketing alliance that will give WMN exclusive promotional opportunities with the NASCAR Sprint Cup racing team. Under the agreement, WMN artists will have the opportunity to participate in branding and promotional programs at NASCAR events, including artist tie-ins, sponsorships and promotional appearances, as well as exclusive positioning for their images and branding on BAM's #49 racecar, show cars, transporter and pit equipment. The first BAM promotional event with WMN artists is scheduled to take place on February 6, 2010 at the Daytona International Speedway. (BAM Racing PR) Talladega Rookie Notes and Facts: #20-Joey Logano was the Raybestos Rookie of the Race in the October 26 TUMS Fast Relief 500 at Martinsville Speedway. Logano scored a 12th-place finish and grabbed top rookie honors for the third consecutive race and for the 23rd time this season. Logano leads #82-Scott Speed by 29 points (227-198) in the Raybestos Rookie standings entering the November 1 AMP Energy 500 at Talladega Superspeedway. The only Raybestos Rookie to win the AMP Energy 500 is Ron Bouchard. Bouchard won the 1981 Talladega 500 by inches over Darrell Waltrip and Terry Labonte in a photo finish. Two Raybestos Rookies have won the pole for the AMP Energy 500 since 1975: Geoffrey Bodine (1982) and Jimmie Johnson (2003). The late Davey Allison holds the record for most laps led by a Raybestos Rookie in the AMP Energy 500. Allison led seven times for 77 laps on his way to a second place finish in 1987. Ryan Newman holds the all-time Raybestos Rookie record for most poles (6), most top-fives (14) and most top-10s (22). (Camp & Assoc./Raybestos) Cup cars, engines taken at Martinsville pass inspection By SceneDaily Staff All cars and engines taken to the NASCAR Research and Development Center following the Sprint Cup race Sunday at Martinsville Speedway have passed inspection, a NASCAR official confirmed Tuesday afternoon. Cars taken were those of Joe Gibbs Racing's Denny Hamlin (winner), Penske Racing's Kurt Busch, and Hendrick Motorsports' Jimmie Johnson and Mark Martin. Engines taken back were those of Hamlin, Johnson and Busch. Did You Notice? Thomas Bowles · Frontstretch. Busch Brothers Burn Crew Chiefs Out, Officiating Mistakes, And NASCAR On WWE? Did You Notice? … Both Busch brothers caused their crew chiefs to burn out at the same time? It's ironic that NASCAR's moodiest siblings are transitioning to new head wrenches after a similar time span: about two years. That's how long Steve Addington worked with Kyle Busch, taking him to 12 wins and one Chase appearance, while Tryson led Busch to four and two, respectively (Tryson came on board with Busch in mid-2007). But working with such successful drivers has its downside. As we've seen from both Kyle and Kurt on the radio, they have a tendency to get angry and downright abusive when the car's handling doesn't go their way. For Kurt, there's the infamous incident at Martinsville last year in which his car was "so bad" (that's the G-Rated version) he threatened to stop driving it, spurring owner Roger Penske to get on the radio and set him straight. As for Kyle, his scanner turns NC-17 at least once every two races. Even fans of the guy who listen to him on the scanner might not want to admit it, but they're nodding their heads in agreement right now. I had the Martinsville weekend off, so I wasn't perusing the scanner then but at Charlotte he was saying things that would have made even the late George Carlin blush. I know that in sports, we expect this type of talk to come from frustrated athletes. But imagine yourself in your full-time office job for a second. How would you feel if once a week, someone else came in and spent the day totally berating you? Regardless of whether you were successful or not, they disparaged your work, insulted your mother, and spent the day swearing and carrying on about the most minor problems – all in the name of "being at your competitive best." a few months, right? Well, it's amazing that Steve Addington lasted two years. Ditto for Tryson, as Kurt Busch is now on his fourth full-time crew chief since going over to Penske in 2006. The only man capable of keeping Kurt in line was old school, tough-as-nails Jimmy Fennig, a man who's notorious for not taking any flak from his drivers. But considering one of the reasons Kurt Busch left Roush back in 2005 is he didn't feel like he would ever be the "number one" driver within that organization, is it any wonder a growing independence left their relationship heading in the wrong direction at the end? As for younger brother Kyle and previous crew chief Alan Gustafson, all accounts are Kyle was a different guy when he first moved into the Cup Series in 2005, cockiness coming hand-in-hand with success achieved in '06 and the first part of '07. Had Busch stayed at Hendrick, you wonder if Gustafson would have remained crew chief there in 2008 because he seemed to be at his wits' end by the time the two parted ways. The moral of the story here: beware, because these partnerships don't seem to be built to last. And so it was with Addington, who could never quite get the feedback needed to dial in the No. 18 Toyota on intermediate tracks this year. In the end, that's what led to their on-track unraveling, as this quick list of stats will show you: Kyle Busch 2009 Stats Considering those intermediates make up five of ten tracks in the Chase, it's a no brainer J.D. Gibbs wanted to try something new to turn things around. The question will be whether Dave Rogers can be the type of personality capable of dealing with Busch when he starts rampaging inside the car. It's one thing to work with him in the Nationwide Series, where JGR has equipment far and above that of its closest competitors. But when Busch is running 20th with the Hendrick cars about to lap him, unleashing a verbal tirade that would make your grandmother blush, how will he react? That's the million dollar question (literally, considering how much of a difference there is between 12th and 13th in points these days). Also keep in mind Rogers' Cup record is far from stellar, with a grand total of zero top 5 finishes in less than one season working with beleaguered driver Jason Leffler. In the end, it's a change Gibbs felt they had to make. But you wonder if letting Rogers work with Logano while Greg Zipadelli – a no-nonsense guy used to dealing with a temperamental driver – would have been a better fit. Because the only guy that wins when you pair a G-Rated crew chief with Kyle Busch is the doctor who'll end up prescribing him anti-depressants. Did You Notice? … NASCAR was having a bit of a problem assessing penalties consistently at Martinsville? There were two blatant incidents in particular that disturbed me. First up was Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s flat tire that caused the third caution of the day, one where Junior stopped on the track to get one on Lap 90. The circumstances were similar to when Denny Hamlin stopped on the track last May, trying desperately to force a yellow after dominating Richmond until a flat right front tire ruined his night. Here's the difference: in that scenario, as NASCAR usually does, Hamlin was penalized an extra lap for "intentionally causing a caution," as stated in Section 9-11 of the NASCAR rulebook. So my question is Earnhardt's situation was different … how? Instead of trying to get to pit road, he felt the right move was to stop in the middle of the track … just like Hamlin. The motive in doing so was to keep from losing an additional lap … just like Hamlin. Yet when the cars restarted on Lap 94, Earnhardt found himself running on the tail end of the lead lap, seemingly rewarded for his "misdeed" while Hamlin ended his fateful day at Richmond three laps down in 24th. But that wasn't the only officiating mistake. On Lap 177, replays showed contact with the front bumper of Martin Truex, Jr. caused David Stremme to drift into teammate Sam Hornish, Jr. coming off Turn 2. In an instant, the No. 77 car lost control, spinning hard into the backstretch wall and causing a caution. As the first car one lap down, that left Truex eligible for the Lucky Dog … except he shouldn't have gotten it. Again, according to Section 10-4.1 of the NASCAR rules: "A car will not be eligible for the free pass when, in the judgment of NASCAR officials, the car was involved in or the reason for the caution." Seems like a pretty cut and dry incident to me – except Truex was back on the lead lap and ready to race through the field five laps later. Look, in the grand scheme of things neither officiating mistake made a big difference in the outcome of the race. Several melted beads let to flat tires that sidelined Earnhardt, while Truex was never a serious factor and came home 28th, two laps back. But when the sanctioning body is struggling to come to grips with these basic rules, how big a surprise is it they're showing inconsistency at some of the bigger moments of the race, such as the "mystery" debris cautions of recent weeks or hesitating on throwing the yellow during the final lap – no matter what the situation? I'm going to leave you to stew on that answer, but the real question is what the sport's going to do about their officiating. Over in other sports, we've seen the SEC step up this week and punish those responsible for missed calls in college football games. But when's the last time you've ever seen NASCAR man up and admit they made a bad call on an in-race decision? Even an apology to some fans and drivers in certain situations would do much to restore the basic respect that should exist between the sport itself and those who follow it. Unfortunately, right now that respect continues to erode, from the most minor of mistakes to the biggest controversies facing the sport today. And it's an issue that won't go away until the sanctioning body does something to address it. Did You Notice? … Jimmie Johnson's selective speeding on pit road? Juan Pablo Montoya certainly did, and so did the ESPN broadcast crew who noted Johnson's times were almost one full second faster than Montoya's during certain stops. What the No. 48 was doing is consistent with their motto since the beginning of their existence: push the rules to the ragged edge without doing enough to get "caught." Needless to say, Johnson knows exactly where the timing lines are, knowing where he can get away with a few extra MPH and when he can't. And if you pick a pit stall just in front of a timing line, that gives you just enough extra room to have a brief burst of speed that could help you pick off one, two, maybe more cars on pit road. In Johnson's defense, he didn't even need the extra help on Sunday, as his crew never lost him a spot on pit road all day (although their last green flag stop cost them valuable time to Hamlin on the race track). But it's just another way in which this team finds the "gray areas" within every rule they can to gain an edge. The problem is, of course, plenty of people might call that "cheating" even though the No. 48 team would tell you they're playing within the rules. So how do you stop this little advantage? Two ways. The first would be to publicize all pit road speeding information electronically, with a transponder in the car going off the second a car goes 56 miles an hour (if the limit's 55) to clearly indicate a penalty. The technology is there to make that process happen … but as we've seen, NASCAR doesn't really like to make all its officiating open to the public (See: Engine Post-Race Inspection). So I've got a second plan that might work. Since they don't show teams specific areas where they sped anyways … why give any indication where the timing lines are? Make that a secret that only you and your software equipment/providers know heading into each race. Sure, you'll still let the drivers know where the Pit In and Pit Out lines are, but with no clear markings on the race track anywhere else the extra timing lines will be a complete and total mystery. Because the bottom line of it all is if you're speeding on pit road, you're speeding on pit road, period. You shouldn't get to accelerate in between timing lines to sneak ahead, for obvious safety and fairness reasons. Did You Notice? … My new "Quick Hits" Feature before we go… · ESPN's taken a lot of criticism this season, but I can't get enough of Jeff Burton's promo about how he describes NASCAR and wrecks. Between the music, the way Burton speaks, and the slow motion replays, my heart's always pumping by the end. Definitely the best promo they've done on the sport this year. And no, it's NOT because of carnage on TV. It's because of the way it reminds me how these drivers take it to the ragged edge. · Kyle Busch and Joey Logano on WWE? I have to tell you, I was never a wrestling guy, so I'll admit to journalistic bias here. The second I turned on the program Monday night, I felt my IQ went down 10 points, and all I could do was laugh every two minutes when I thought back to the South Park episode on this very subject two weeks back (I'm sure there's plenty of fans that know what I'm talking about). But all kidding aside, love or hate wrestling that was one of the best cameos for the sport all year. Yeah, Joey and Kyle looked like two giant dorks up against the pure athletic talent of these wrestlers. But they played their parts well, and introduced the sport in a flashy way to an audience NASCAR is desperately trying to win over: Males 18-34. Maybe, just maybe, a few of those fans will tune in to see those WWE cars race in the Nationwide Series at Texas next week. But no good PR stunt will get rewarded unless there's a good race attached that'll leave 'em coming back for more … Bringing balance to a track that's always been semi-off By David Caraviello, NASCAR.COM It does not take a race on Halloween weekend for the ghosts of Talladega Superspeedway to rise. Whether it's karma or juju or the product of some supernatural power, there's always been something a little different about that 2.66-mile race track dug out of the north Alabama hills. NASCAR's very own twilight zone has been a place where strange, sometimes unexplainable things have happened, cast against a thousand campfires that give it an almost otherworldly glow. There is no other venue like it, from the size to the spectacle to its turbulent and sometimes tragic history. It was at Talladega where Bobby Isaac abruptly parked his car and got out, claiming voices had told him to do so. It was at Talladega where the garage was once vandalized, where the pace car was once stolen, where parts of the infield still have a reputation for being as lawless as the tribal areas of Pakistan. Then there are the other events, these much more mortal, the water-tank explosions and helicopter crashes and racing accidents that have left sadness and devastation in their wake. Why all this, in one place? The search for explanation began to take on a life of its own. People said the track was built on the site of an American Indian burial ground, and the spirits were exacting their revenge. People said the name of a nearby town was really a Native American word for "bad water." People said the place was cursed because the indigenous peoples had been forced to leave their homes and move west as part of the Trail of Tears. None of it was ever verified, of course. But it didn't matter. It persisted anyway. Rick Humphrey, the track's president, has heard it all. He's heard every shred of rumor and myth and superstition about why his track, which hosts the Cup Series on Sunday, has such a checkered and tumultuous history. So through an acquaintance, he got in contact with a Creek Indian community based in a small town in far south Alabama, near the Florida line. And last Thursday, a man in a ponytail and wearing a rainbow-colored sash arrived to try and restore some balance to a facility that's been plagued by instability since its first race, which was boycotted by a number of top drivers due to safety concerns. His name was Robert Thrower, and he was a medicine man from the Poarch Band of Creek Indians, the same Creeks that once inhabited so much of the land around Talladega. Speaking in the Muscogee language and working from a folding table set up as an altar at the start-finish line, Thrower offered what he called a prayer of protection, restoration, and balance to try and ease whatever cosmic instability surrounds the track. Using bits of cedar, rabbit tobacco, and wild sage, he performed a short ceremony similar to one his great-grandmother -- the last tribal medicine woman -- would have done. "Most everything in Native American belief is about keeping balance," said Thrower, who is also a Baptist minister. "Sometimes people and places can get out of balance, and that unbalance may be perceived as something bad. What we did today was bless the track, and ask for reconciliation so that balance can be restored." This kind of thing isn't unusual for Thrower, who often blesses houses or farms. But a race track? In a public ceremony? Then again, if anything can be described as slightly off-kilter, it's Talladega. How else to explain all those beer cans raining down on the frontstretch after Jeff Gordon's victory in 2007, or the preponderance of too-anatomically- So yes, maybe Talladega could use a little balance. Hopefully, Thrower brought the heavy-duty rabbit tobacco. "I wanted to share with somebody the myth or the legend that a curse had been placed on the area by the Indians," Humphrey said. "[Thrower] made sure that I knew that he was not coming to do some kind of exorcism, and that was not we wanted. He didn't mention a curse. He may have mentioned it one time during a prayer. He said, 'What I can do, and what I will do, is I will come and bless the land. And I will come and restore balance.' So really, I didn't know what I was calling and asking for, other than sharing, in some shape or form, our desires to put the urban legends and myths behind us." So, what to make of this? Obviously, there's a publicity element to it, with the race weekend approaching and Talladega off 15 to 20 percent from last year on ticket sales just like so many other tracks are. But as anyone who has ever been there can fully attest, Talladega is a strange and different place. Those high speeds, those impossibly tall bankings, those sprawling campgrounds and all that heavy wood smoke -- in concert, it all has a cumulative effect on the mind. Talladega has always been a little crazy. But here's the thing: people like it a little crazy. They pack Airstreams and pup tents and sleep out in the cold in the hopes of being a little crazy, too. To that extent, you have to wonder what kind of effect Thrower's blessing will have. Thursday will arrive, campers will show up, beads will be passed out, beer cans will be opened, and Talladega will become Talladega again, whether it's in balance or not. Now, in terms of protection -- especially given Carl Edwards' accident there in the spring, where his car went airborne into the restraining fence and a woman's jaw was broken by debris -- you hope Thrower really does have the ear of the Great Spirit. Because more than freakish occurrences, those are the kinds of incidents that give Talladega a bad name. But we can hope, at least, for a safe and incident-free weekend, that balance has truly been restored and whatever spirits hovering about Talladega Superspeedway are of the benevolent variety. Then again, Saturday night is Halloween. Hopefully, the medicine man will be on call. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. A spirited give and take becomes a lesson learned Montoya, Gordon get caught up in heat of the moment By Dave Rodman, NASCAR.COM Perspectives and timing can be everything in racing, as well as they can emphasize various points in everyday life -- and so it was on Sunday at Martinsville. Early in the Tums Fast Relief 500, Juan Montoya went scraping past Jeff Gordon to take the fourth spot. The move, and the action leading up to it, apparently prompted some heated comments on the in-car radios. The most printable was Gordon's, after losing the spot to Montoya, informing his crew, "I don't know what's wrong with him, but I'm pissed." But what would you expect? Racing is an aggressive sport, in which emotions throughout a race constantly need to be bottled up and unleashed, virtually at will. But perspectives mean everything. When different individuals obviously in most cases see things differently -- particularly when they're wearing different color uniforms -- disagreements are inevitable. Gordon couldn't see it then -- might not be able to see it yet -- but to Montoya it was as plain as the colors of the Colombian flag. "It's just every time we've been around racing against him, he runs the hell out of me," Montoya said after the race. "He moved me out of the way before, and he was starting to do the same here [Sunday]. I was running the outside of him, and every time he was just getting wider and wider. "And it got to a point, it's like, 'Hey, I'm here, and you're not going to push me around,' you know what I mean? If you give me room, I'll give you room. He wasn't giving me any, so I played the same game. "It's not as hard [to be patient] as you think. You race. And if somebody races hard, you're going to race hard." Immediately after Montoya banged his way past Gordon, he pulled away by a few car lengths. But then, running virtually the same lap times, no immediate confrontations ensued. But the beauty of it is when communication overcomes bad feelings, and such was the case Sunday when Gordon more than Montoya -- but really both men -- had a lot riding on a good finish. Chase leader Jimmie Johnson's excellence at Martinsville was proven by his ultimate second-place finish to winner Denny Hamlin. "Here is a place you don't want to wreck anybody because payback is really bad here, but people have got to respect you [so] we did what we had to," Montoya said, before explaining he'd gone much further than that. "I got on the radio and said to the spotter, 'Look, tell him if he comes I'm going to give him space, but I hope he does the same.'" After the race, Gordon was disappointed in his finish. Maybe he was a little frustrated to be fifth; but in his typical balanced way he presented a well-measured demeanor, especially when speaking of Montoya, who charged to third. But again, perspectives ruled and ironically, if you swapped the faces of the speakers, or changed the names in the transcripts, either one could have been mistaken for the other. "He's an aggressive driver," Gordon said. "We've seen it from him before. I thought I did something to make him mad because I didn't understand why he was just driving into me for no reason. But hey, that's Martinsville. That's kind of the way he drives." And it's kind of the way perspectives work. "It's OK," Montoya said. "I never really had a big problem with him, but he's always so hard to race against. But he probably says the same thing against me, because he never gave me any room -- why am I going to give him any? It's a vicious circle." But one, through open communication, both men apparently tried to break. "We're good -- I talked to him afterwards," Montoya said. "Right at the end we ran together and he gave me room and I gave him room -- I mean, you can do it. It's just you've got to be -- sometimes you've got to set a precedent so people back off a little." "I just tried not to make him mad anymore and race him as clean as I could," Gordon said. "And unfortunately my car wasn't as good on the restarts and he got by me and we had a great battle for third and we raced clean at the end. "That's all that really matters. I hope it's not something that transfers over because I don't know, really, what I did if I did do something." Just maybe, one more conversation is in order -- though it might not occur until it's time to come back to Martinsville next spring. Considering Gordon and Montoya will be championship contenders next year, this hatchet might be one best well-buried. Montoya has excelled at Martinsville since he came to the Cup Series, even as he sharpens his game everywhere the series races. And there's no question, given all the rough-and-tumble antics in his past, he has no qualms about swapping anything. "When people are clean with you, you're going to be clean with them -- when they race the hell out of you, you're going to do the same," Montoya said. "That's what it is. But you're going to end up beating it, banging it and hitting it and getting hit. It's part of the deal. It's fun." Even with a championship on the line. Kyle Busch Victory Watch Here's a question for everyone who thinks Kyle Busch is just too danged aggressive? If that's true -- and his talent behind the wheel is unquestioned -- then how does he seem to get outrun so much at the end of races when the win is on the line? It happened again at Memphis, which as predicted was his best opportunity to try to eclipse his 2008 record total of 21 wins (8 Cup, 10 Nationwide, 3 Truck). And now, barring a miraculous return to the Cup Series by new crew chief Dave Rogers at Texas, Busch's hopes of doing it lie mostly in the Nationwide and Truck series. Busch remains at 16 wins: 4 Cup, 7 Nationwide, 5 Truck. At this point last year he was at 20: 8 Cup, 9 Nationwide, 3 Truck; so given that I'm thinking he'll "run out" in all three series, with 12 races remaining to win six -- the order remains very tall. But if he can have better luck and chassis tuning, it's still very possible. The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. Top Ten… Jeff Meyer · Fronstretch. Things Bob Griese Could Have Said That Would Have Actually Been An Insult Author's Note: A special "thank you" to all those on our Frontstretch Forums and some Frontstretch staff, who contributed to this list. Sorry I couldn't use them all! (Don't worry, I will serve any suspension that may arise from the publication of this list!) 10. "All them other rednecks took him snipe hunting, and he was late for the start." 9. "NASCAR was raided by INS, so Juan had to hide for awhile." 8. "He couldn't find a pair of jumper cables to get his car started." 7. "He's probably over at the Hendrick trailer stealing parts." 6. "Maybe he's out eating a 'taco,' if you know what I mean!" 5. "Couldn't get his helmet over his sombrero." 4. "He had to make sure hired hand, Juan Valdez, wasn't just sitting on his ass and was actually getting the family 'crop' in." 3. "Maybe his hands cramped up from making those funky gang signs." 2. "Maybe he swung by Michael Waltrip's place to give him a ride, and they ended up at the wrong track." 1. "He had to deliver a special order of 'Juablow' to the J. C. France residence." NASCAR ON TV THIS WEEK
All times Eastern Well, that's all for today. Until the next time, I remain, Your Nascar Momma Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
"Don't come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you've got feathers on your legs or butt. Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up there and eat that candy ass." -Dale Earnhardt - 1998 |
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